This post is not going to be about workplace violence, even though it’s recently been heavy on my mind. On February 17th, an Assistant Professor in the Biology Department at The University of Alabama in Huntsville opened fire in a staff meeting killing three coworkers and injuring three more. Dr. Amy Bishop is now charged with those crimes. My library is in Huntsville, everyone who works here knows someone at UAH.
Nor is it going to be about conflict management, though I’ve got a fairly good presentation on that topic and can talk about it for hours.
While this post is about workplace etiquette, it’s not a broad guide. There are plenty of those available. I’d like to step back even further and discuss one small thing we can do at work to reduce daily stress and create a better work environment for everyone.
I remember staying after school one day in elementary school to help a teacher pack up her room at year’s end. As I said goodbye, the teacher handed me an old poster with ragged corners. “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours” quoted the poster, complete with rays of sunshine on a kitten. She told me she wanted me to have it because she’d noticed how quick I was to smile at the other children, always cheerful and ready to help. She spoke of kindness and courtesy, manners and graciousness. It has a huge impact on me, I would even call it empowering.
In 2006 I attended a SirsiDynix Webinar with Pat Wagner called “Library Conflict Management for Consenting Adults Turning Enemies into Allies” in which she mentioned that libraries should have a “civility clause” for employees. Soon after, I conducted a little experiment in the staff-only halls of the library. Moving through the building, I pulled up my the corners of my mouth and set a smile there. Every single person who passed said hello or wanted talk about something. The next day, I set a frown before I roamed the halls. A couple of people said I looked tired, one even asked what was wrong. It was as if the energy around me changed instead of just a few facial muscles, I was really struck with the results. Many times since I’ve heard someone make a nasty remark or slam a door in anger at work and wish we had a policy for Being Nice.
Call me Pollyanna, it’s been done before. I’m a firm believer in the power of positivity. When doing research on a class for managers on giving evaluations, I relied heavily on The Power of Positive Criticism by Hendrie Weisinger. He writes of emotional intelligence, being improvement-oriented and guarding self-esteem in those around you. The book had a profound effect on the way I deal with people in every aspect of my life and I recommend it often to others.
Too often we forget simple courtesy in the workplace. Don’t wait until you have to bring in a conflict resolution arbitrator or consult the attorneys on harassment law. It’s too late when you’re forced to hire grief counselors.
You have the power to give someone a smile today. It’s free and it feels good. Who knows? You might just get one back in return.
Funeral services for Dr. Adriel Johnson, Dr. Gopi Podila and Dr. Maria Ragland Davis begin today.
Image credit: The Huntsville Times
Information about UAH’s Department of Biological Sciences Memorial Scholarship Fund may be found here.
Marianne, thank you so much for this powerful and important post—it is so easy for us to get so busy that we forget something so simple yet so fundamental and profound. Like you, I subscribe to the philosophy of smiling, but I will definitely be taking your thoughts to heart and renew my efforts to show kindness, care, and concern for those with whom I work. Nice really does matter!
Best,
Buffy
Very well said Marianne. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and reminding us of the importance of a simple smile on what is a sad day for your own community.
I too have been called a Pollyanna, actually more times than I can count. I am okay with it. In fact, not too long ago I told one of my colleagues that I wear my Pollyanna badge proudly! I would rather look to the positive than dwell in the negative.
Thank you both for your thoughts…and smiles.
Hmmm, is this a trainer trait? I’m always scorned for a positive attitude. However, I’ve been allowing negative vibes around me influence my demeanor this past year. Time for an attitude adjustment!! Thanks for the nudge.